In Your Mind

by Katie Woods

Katie Woods is a new poet emerging from decades of abuse into a life she’s creating for herself. Poetry provides a framework for her to pour her experiences into and reclaim her power. A recovering registered nurse, she is driven by deep empathy for others who hurt. Katie’s passion is starting challenging conversations about abuse and mental health. Check out her survivor support page on Instagram @togethersurvivors

In Your Mind

A butterfly flits through a garden

The rain nourishes the grass

I contemplate simple beauty

While looking back at an ugly past

I was born with a loving heart

An open mind and listening ear

A playful and dedicated soul

That everyone wanted to be near

You came close when I was young

Saw what you needed in my eyes

A blank slate to hide your secrets in

A girl too naive to question our ties

I was so eager to please you

Simply wishing to make you proud

Your face told of your love for me

Soon the admission came out loud

You shared with me things that lovers do

Without the physical act of sex

Though you detailed your past acts plenty

You left me feeling I meant less

There were times I wished you’d take me

To the bed you told me of so often

I became as pliable as I could be

Hoping to my wishes you might soften

Years later I lusted after older women

The idea of their power keeping me confined

I suppose I wanted them to fuck me

The way you only ever did in your mind