My Breath Hitches

by Sarah Kiepper

Sarah Kiepper resides with her partner and dogs on the SouthCoast of Massachusetts. She is acompliance officer and doctoral student. Sarah enjoys volunteering, participating in book clubsand writing groups, and researching genealogy. Her photography and writing have beenpublished in Akros Review, Jenny Magazine, Penguin Review, and Tidings.

My breath hitches

when I remember how we slept

our skin stuck, my back to your front

long legs tangled around me like a cricket

I could never catch my breath

our no clothes in the bedroom rule

made us late for my best friend’s wedding

we showered together every night

but fought all damn day

I loved you so much then

it still hurts now more than a decade later

you smothered me with gifts, work visits, phone calls

until I couldn’t breathe

I left you—the same way my mother left my father

the same way his first wife left him before that—cowardly and deceitful, but it was the only wayto keep breathing