The Silenced Voices of MST Podcast with Rachelle Smith

by The Silenced Voices of MST Podcast

The Silenced Voices of MST is a podcast that turns pain into power by addressing Military Sexual Trauma (MST). It empowers survivors, starts conversations about MST, and uses your voice to demand accountability and the end of military injustice.

Join us to hear survivor stories, learn from experts, and find recovery resources. By subscribing, you'll join a supportive community, find strength, and grow from isolation to becoming an empowered advocate for change. Check out more from The Silenced Voices of MST : www.silencedvoicesmst.com

In this powerful episode of The Silenced Voices of MST, Jaye, a brave survivor who enlisted in the Army in 1978, opens up about the unimaginable challenges she faced during her 17-year military career, including rape and relentless sexual harassment. Through her candid narrative, Jaye shares her journey of navigating life after assault, the profound impact on her well-being, and the difficulties she faced as a woman within the military system.

Jaye's story extends beyond her time in the Army. After her service, she continued to fight, taking on the VA to file claims. Her resilience and determination are evident as she discusses the aftermath of her assaults and the obstacles she overcame.

Today, Jaye is a passionate advocate, conducting research on military sexual trauma and shedding light on the often overlooked aspects of this pervasive issue. This episode is a tribute to Jaye's courage, strength, and unyielding spirit as she breaks the silence surrounding military culture and sexual trauma.

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Episode 8, “Jaye Breaks Her Silence On Military Culture.” Jaye's speech is black, and Rachelle’s  is in purple.

00:17:29 Yeah, I've been there. That's definitely true. Could you share what it was like to be a young woman in the Army in the 80s?

00:17:39 So I came in in 78. So when we first came in, we still wore WAC [Women's Auxiliary Corps] uniforms.

00:17:45 Oh, what a throwback.

00:17:49 Yeah, the WACs disbanded in 77 and we had in 1978, we had two platoons of females and two platoons of males in the same basic training.

00:18:01 And there was just a wall like a particle board between us. So that was the first thing is that we were all mixed together in training. So we trained right next to men.

00:18:12 But once you get into your job, my first problem was my name is Jaye. So they sent me to a field artillery unit where there were no women.

00:18:26 Oh, no. Yikes. 

00:18:32 So they didn't even pay attention to the gender that was on my thing. So I got there and I was there a week before they found another place for me that was at headquarters of the same unit, but it was at headquarters where there were other females.

00:18:41 Then they had to find a place to house me. So just all of those things makes you feel like you're not important.

00:18:47 I could only imagine.

00:18:49 They're not ready for you. And then you can't tell by the camera, but I'm only like 4'11 and about 115 pounds. So I'm tiny as well.

00:19:00 So that's a factor when you're trying to do things in the mess hall, lift things and because things are big.

00:19:06 And just like everybody making comments about your body, for instance, we wore cook whites and you could see through them.

00:19:13 I mean, you could see your underwear and when you got hot, you'd have to take off your shirt.

00:19:18 And when you took off your shirt, you had on a white T shirt. So pretty much your body is exposed all day long to everyone.

00:19:28 Lots of comments about your body, lots of nicknames. People called me “snack pack,” lots of comments about your butt and your boobs.

00:19:38 And just those kind of things also keep you down, keep you on high alert.

00:19:45 And it kind of creates that environment for sexual assault. So I just wanted to make sure I pointed that out.

00:19:51 Up until I retired in the 90s, it was still very sexist, still very; even as a drill sergeant, other drill sergeants made comments about my body and soldiers try to proposition you.

00:20:06 I used to carry a ball bat when I had CQ because soldiers would stand at the top of the stairs in their underwear with their arm up on the wall and be like, hey, how are you doing?

00:20:16 It's gross. And so these people were maybe 12 years younger than me because I would have been like 30.

00:20:22 And I'm like, get in bed. But it's just kind of gross how the attitudes. I'm a female drill sergeant. There are male drill sergeants. You don't do that to male drill sergeants.

00:20:33 Oh, of course not.

00:20:35 So that's just kind of how the my entire time in the military was is always making comments. There were men making comments about your body and didn't think anything of it or just saying things about how good you look in something.

00:20:51 Wow, you really look good in your greens. Now you can say you really look nice in your greens. That's OK. But you really look good in your greens is different.

00:21:00 Yeah, there's this there's the tone difference and then the added innuendo. It's yeah, I could just feel gross hearing the difference.

00:21:10 Absolutely. So those I feel like our generation of of the Cold War, the Cold War women, we were kind of like what you're talking about, the silenced group. We didn't talk about it.

00:21:24 There was no one for us to report it to. There are no agencies. There was no sharp or Sapro or any of those things. It was either stay in or get out. There's your choices. Deal with it or leave.

00:21:39 And in terms of your leadership, did they just join in on this behavior?

00:21:43 Absolutely, especially and then you would probably not be surprised, but even commanders would say ignorant things and laugh with them. You just kind of either ignore them, walk away, try to laugh it off.

00:21:56 I mean, I had already endured how many years of the military. This little bit of talk that they're doing isn't going to make me leave, but it still doesn't make it OK for them to do it.

00:22:05 But that is the atmosphere that's in the military is very sexist and very just degrading is the best word I can think of. The only thing you're worth is how good you look in your uniform.

00:22:19 That is just so sad to hear because not only did you go through so much just to join and stay in the service, you have your whole community piling in on harassing you and your female peers.

00:22:37And it really cements and reinforces this idea of I'm small. These people don't care. Anything could happen to me and pardon my French, but none of them would give a shit. They probably just laugh about it.

00:22:55 No, no one's going to care. Who's going to protect me? Who's going to believe me?

00:23:01 And that has really created this insulated culture where people that behave like that are protected and safe.

00:23:11 Absolutely. And I believe that it still exists, just better covered.

00:23:16 Yes, and we'll get to that in a minute, but I do have a question that is horrifying and probably happens to plenty of people in the service. But did you ever run into the people that assaulted you throughout your career?

00:23:31 I did not run back into them. Even the instructor, I had already had him, so I didn't end up in his class again. And then once I left Fort Jackson, I never went back to Fort Jackson. So, no, I never did come into contact with them. And surprisingly, I can't even remember their names. I don't know if that's surprising because that is just part of your protection

Get to Know Rachelle Smith,  host of The Silenced Voices of MST